Here is what happened. We paid a $500 deposit when we moved into our sweet, little home in Salt Lake City. I was determined, by God, to get that deposit back when we moved out. After cleaning until the skin on my hands began to reject being attached to my body, I embarked on an unfortunate midweek trip to Wal-Mart to match the paint on the walls so I could get Serge to fill and paint over the nail holes left by our photographs and paintings.

Paint purchased, Violet and I were on our way home. I was traveling behind an elderly woman in a white car. She was just about to cross some train tracks when the lights began flashing. Mind you, the lights flash for a good while before the bar comes down. Instead of continuing through the intersection like any driver under the age of 70 would do, she abruptly stopped. Right where the bar would come down on her car. And it would've if I hadn't rammed her from behind.

My SUV pushed her car smack into the path of the oncoming train, a fact I didn't realize until I had jumped from the driver's seat to check on Violet who was screaming in the backseat. I was frantically trying to unstrap my distraught lil' peanut from her car seat when I slowly became aware of people screaming at me from the third story window of a nearby building.

I looked up.

A woman was hanging out an open window motioning crazily with her arms and it took several seconds before my brain was able to catch up to what was happening and comprehend what she was saying. "MOOOOVE! TELL HER TO MOOOVE! THE TRAIN IS COMING! THE TRAAAAIN" Her voice seemed to float lazily across miles of thick air before I realized what she was saying. The old woman was still sitting in her car. On the tracks. As the train was fast approaching. I left Violet in her seat, ran to the rear of the old woman's car and began motioning and screaming for her to drive forward.

She did. Seconds later the train roared between us sending my hair floating skyward in a puff of wind.

Violet was okay. I was okay. My SUV? Not so okay.

All of the above happened in about twenty seconds yet it felt like I was moving underwater. The woman driving behind me when the crash happened ran up. "Why did that woman stop? I nearly hit you!" I didn't answer. I could only focus on my daughter.

With trembling fingers I tugged and yanked at the straps on Violet's car seat until I could pull her free. I hugged my baby close to me and tried to soothe her. The crash was so loud, she was so scared. Watching my daughter scream in fear, I began to cry. Holding her close I repeated IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY, MAMA'S HERE over and over again. I walked forward, assessing the damage to my crunched SUV... and my tears of fear turned into tears of anger. I was pissed.

The old woman had parked her car and was walking back to the scene of the crash. As she approached I began to shout at her. WHY DID YOU STOP? YOU WERE HALFWAY ACROSS THE TRACKS BEFORE THE LIGHTS BEGAN FLASHING! She offered no response. Her chin trembled and she seemed confused. I felt like a bully. But dammit! My car looked totaled. And my little sweetheart - one minute she was laughing and babbling and then BOOOM!

DAMMIT!

Before I could make an ass of myself by screaming obscenities at a 71-year old woman (I know her age because it says so on the police report) and further scaring my already terrified daughter I walked to the back of my car and called Serge.

The police came and I was ticketed for "improper lookout". No matter that she stopped dead in the middle of the road, no matter that she and I and the lady behind us could've made it across the tracks before the crossing bar descended, I rear ended her and so I get the ticket. At least the cop smiled apologetically as he wrote it out and handed it to me.

The SUV is being repaired. For $7,000. The insurance deductible, ironically, is $500. The very amount I was trying to save by driving to Wal-Mart to purchase paint to cover the wall nail holes in order to receive our full deposit back from the landlord.