This one's for Mom, who's about to lose her best friend of nearly twenty years. This is Spliffer. We got Spliffy when I was 16 years old. I'm almost 33 so that makes him, what, 17 years old? And 17 times 7 is like, 120 or something.

Man, 120 years old! That's about as old as Larry King, right?

Spliff has spent his life chasing deer up the side of the mountain in Utah County Mom lives near. The one behind him in this photo, actually. He's a wild dog, disappearing sometimes for two and three days at a time, a dog's version of a drunken bender, I suppose. I'd venture to guess he's fathered more than a few pups in his time. But yesterday, spending Thanksgiving at Mom's house, it became apparent Spliff doesn't have much time left. He's blind, nearly deaf and spends most of his time curled up in Mom's closet, but otherwise seems in pretty good shape. I took this picture yesterday right before he tore up the street chasing a truck that had the audacity to pass the house.

I don't know what I'll do when Spliffy goes. I've known him longer than I've known most folks. I mean, check out this unfortunate photo...I've known Spliff long enough that he witnessed me walking around looking like this and thinking I was hot shit.