The other day, when I was sick, Serge went to the grocery store to pick up a few items, including tampons.

Poor guy.

But he was uncharacteristically positive about it all, cheerily calling me from the feminine hygiene aisle as instructed.
"Flushable? Bio-degradable? Pearl? What's pearl? Sounds expensive. Anti-slip grip? What the...? Anti-slip grip??
"Dude, dude, dude! SUPER ABSORBENCY, look for the words super absorbency."
"Super tampons?"
"Yeah, pretty much."